Lack of and how do YOU masturbate

So I've been having to take care of my own business for a while now. Mind you, I love masturbating/jerking off/jacking off/whatever you wanna call it. As much as I love sex and the other members of it there are times when I'd really rather not be bothered. One thing I couldn't stand when I was single was the "earning the pussy" phase of the relationship. This is when the woman has to play the "waiting game" so she doesn't come off like a ho(why would you call his mother a garden utensil?!) or too easy. Its almost enough to make you doubt your self worth you know? Runnin around thinkin "Damn, am I not attractive enough? Does she think I'll suck in bed?" and all that other bullshit. The great phase is when you've gotten past all that bs and you have a good time with the person and you know at the end of the date you're gonna be fucking! There's no better way to cap off an evening besides cumming together in a sweaty, hollering, sheets ripped off the bed night of sex. And now that i've gone waaaaaaaaaaay past that to the marriage and all too short honeymoon stage I've come to the no pussy stage all too soon. Can i just say this sucks? Not to talk too bad about my wife but she's not the most outgoing type as far as initiation and stuff. You know, the "pleasure me" type. No wonder sometimes I'd rather just beat one off. But even still, nothing beats the feeling of pussy. Maybe that's why babies gestate for so long...lol. So I probably should be more understanding of the things that the missus is going thru and all but damn I want some pussy. So I already have an idea of what i'm going to do if wifey doesn't come thru tonight.

I'll wait until her and our daughter go to sleep. I'll sneek into the living room where I can watch TV without fear of them waking up. I think i'll pop in one of my latest pornos "Big Black Wet Tits 8" and fantasize about some of the women i've seen in the past day. You ever wish you could just tell a mofo how you'd fuck the shit outta them and not have to worry bout any reprisal/backlash/sexual harrasment/rejection? Then I'll alternate between the porn, fantasy, and Sportscenter/some guy flick so as to draw my session out. I'll lube the ole boy up with lotion or baby oil gel and stroke him to full length, let him go down and start all over again until a fat nut can't be stopped. I might even do it again time permitting. Sheesh. And they wonder why men cheat. Oh well. Better to jerk off.